Popular Comedy Quotes
I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty.Libby Mae Brown
Look at these. I used to dream I'd be surrounded by exotic women's underwear forever and ever. Now I know they just save their best pairs for the nights they know they're going to sleep with somebody.Rob
Ethel: How long have you been a smoker?
Margot: 22 years.
Ethel: Well I think you should quit.
Jay: So what's up? You got a friend for Silent Bob, or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany: You're a man of principle.
No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.Billy Madison
Larry: [speaking to Civil War diorama figures] The North wins. Slavery is bad. But the South has the Allman brothers...
Larry: ... and... NASCAR.
Whoa. Where did you say you were from again?Michael
All I want, all I've ever wanted is the quiet of a private life, but my mother wants me distinguished.Edward Ferrars
Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads... in a spiritual sense, of course.Dr Ray Stantz
You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.Blind Seer
Marianne: Are we never to have a moment's peace? The rent here may be low but I believe we have it on very hard terms.
Elinor Dashwood: Mrs Jennings is a wealthy woman with a married daughter, she has nothing to do but marry off everyone else's.
Lou: "I love you, Jacob!"
Jacob: "F*** you!"
Lou: "Little scamp. They say the damnedest things, man."