Seemingly, the only actresses that can survive are the ones that show their cooter and I refuse to that. Excuse me, but I have a little dignity.

Sarah Marshall

Janine Melnitz: You are so kind to take care of that man. You know, you're a real humanitarian.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I don't think he's human.

Carlson. I've got something to tell you. I'm not from West Covina. I'm from Internal Affairs.

Miles Logan

Karen: Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?
Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.

Michael: Alright. Uh, I talked to her; I got the scoop.
Cameron: What'd she say?
Michael: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote.
Patrick: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of you.

Matthew: Why didn't you just tell me?
Danielle: Because I didn't want to! Because I loved the way you looked at me. You don't understand how hard...
Matthew: Wait!
Danielle: Fuck you.

Clinch: Where did you learn to shoot?
Albert: Your wife.
Edward: Oh, snap!

Barry: Rob, I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater.
[Imitating Cosby]
Barry: A Cosssssssby sweater. Did Laura let you leave the house like that?

Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?
April: When I was 10.
Ferrari: Okay, moving on...

Ed Rooney: Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief.
Sloane: Great.

James Carter: Couldn't help noticin' how she was staring at a brother.
Lee: She never even look at you.
James Carter: You just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you third world ugly.
Lee: I am not third world ugly, women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.

Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill.

Eddie Harris

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