Popular Comedy Quotes
Clinch: Where did you learn to shoot?
Albert: Your wife.
Edward: Oh, snap!
I am Colin. God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.Colin
Iggy: Would you swim in an integrated swimming pool?
Tracy Turnblad: I sure would, Iggy. I'm a modern kind of girl, I'm all for integration.
Otto: Look, you obviously don't know anything about intelligence work, lady. It's an X-K-Red-27 technique.
Wendy: My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfredjinsinjin, and I know perfectly well that you don't keep the general public informed when you are "debriefing KGB defectors in a safe house."
Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox three times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
[passing back class' exams] 'C', 'D', 'F'. 'F'. 'F'. For three weeks we have been talking about the Platt Amendment. It was passed in 1906.Mr. Hand
Good luck. The Lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a doctor and get rid of it. Bye Grandma!Navin R. Johnson
Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
Ed: It's on random.
Liz: For fuck's sake!
Debbie Dunham: Maybe if it's the goat killer, he'll get somebody and we'll see the whole thing.
Terry Fields: I don't want to see the whole thing.
Mrs. Plum: Stephanie started a new job!
Stephanie Plum: Yeah, I did. I just got a gun.
Mrs. Plum: Whoa! (Grandma Mazur checks out the gun and proceeds to shoot the chicken sitting on the dinner table)
Mrs. Plum: Put the gun away, ma!
Mr. Plum: She belongs in a home.
Grandma Mazur: Shot that sucker in the gumpy...
Cover your sodas! Dewey loves sugar!Jackie Moon
Nikki's waiting for me to get in shape and get my life back together. Then we're going to be together.Pat