Dick Pepperfield: How did you learn to play basketball?
Jackie Moon: I saw it on TV a couple times, I thought I could do that.

I , Jackie Moon, will wrestle a bear.

Jackie Moon

Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.

Jackie Moon

I am great at free throws. Seriously, free throws are, like, my best thing.

Jackie Moon

I've never been traded for a washing machine before. Until now.

Ed Monix

Dick Pepperfield: I am here with owner/player/coach, Jackie Moon, and two of the Flint Tropics Ball girls. Hello ladies.
Jackie Moon: You are a little tongue tied now aren't ya Dick?
Dick Pepperfield: *Laughing* No no no, no no no. Mrs. Pepperfield is watching this, she watches all the broadcasts, and I just want you to know that I have no interest in these ladies what-so-ever. I think they are appalling.

Drillbit Taylor: Who do you guys need protection from?
Ryan: Just a highschool bully.

You know what this is? A wing, and you are under it. All three of you, right there.

Drillbit Taylor

Drillbit Taylor: What do you teach?
English Teacher: English.
Drillbit Taylor: My native tongue.

Now it isn't all oriental martial arts. Sometimes you give a little mexican judo. As in you don't know who you messin with homes

Drillbit Taylor

English Teacher: I've never met anyone as great as you. I'm really just always attracted to such dirtbag guys. Some bum, some lying pig.
Drillbit Taylor: Stop it. You were starting to rant a little bit.

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.

Mexican Bandit

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