Popular Comedy Quotes
They're filming midgets!Ray
Priest: What did you do Raymond?
Ray: Murder, father.
Priest: Why did you murder, Raymond?
Ray: For money.
Priest: You murdered for money?
Ray: Yes, father.
Priest: Who did you murder for money, Raymond?
Ray: You, father.
Two weeks, in fuckin Bruge. With you? No way.Ray
Harry: Number One, why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be. Number Two, why doesn't this hotel have fucking phones with fucking voicemail on them and not have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist? Number Three you better fucking be in tomorrow night when I fucking call again or there'll be fucking Hell to pay. I'm fucking telling you.
Ray: Jeez, he swears a lot, doesn't he?
Maybe that's what hell is, an entire eternity spent in Bruges.Ray
You're a bunch of fuckin' elephants!Ray
Ray: Back off, shorty!
Jimmy: You don't know karate!
Dick Pepperfield: How did you learn to play basketball?
Jackie Moon: I saw it on TV a couple times, I thought I could do that.
I , Jackie Moon, will wrestle a bear.Jackie Moon
Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.Jackie Moon
I am great at free throws. Seriously, free throws are, like, my best thing.Jackie Moon
Dick Pepperfield: I am here with owner/player/coach, Jackie Moon, and two of the Flint Tropics Ball girls. Hello ladies.
Jackie Moon: You are a little tongue tied now aren't ya Dick?
Dick Pepperfield: *Laughing* No no no, no no no. Mrs. Pepperfield is watching this, she watches all the broadcasts, and I just want you to know that I have no interest in these ladies what-so-ever. I think they are appalling.