Cover your sodas! Dewey loves sugar!

Jackie Moon

It feels like I got cat piss in my eyes.

Jackie Moon

If you see an opposum, kill it. It’s not a pet.

Jackie Moon

Kevin: [in Jane's apartment, with her showing off her dresses as she pulls out a loud-looking Gone With The Wind dress] What is that?
Jane: [holding the dress up to herself] Theme wedding!
Kevin: What was the theme? Humiliation?

What color is that - vomit?


Kevin: What about you? You don't have any needs?
Jane: No. I'm Jesus.

Can you please find somebody else to be creepy with?


Kevin: Jane, can I have $50?
Jane: No.
Kevin: Jane, can I have $50?
Jane: No.
Kevin: [takes hand lovingly] Jane, I REALLY need $50, can i have the $50?
Jane: [hesitant] ... No?
Kevin: [laughing] See? That was good!
[grabs Jane's drink]
Kevin: Jane, can I have your drink?
Jane: Sure.

Jane: Oh yeah, I'm a real good caulker.
Kevin: [into recorder] Likes caulk.

You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your own!


Tess: You won't share that information with me about him. You wouldn't hurt a fly. Besides, I'm your sister.
Jane: That was yesterday. Today you're just the bitch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress.

Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind


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