Popular Comedy Quotes
He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like oh, sure he went to Harvard.Louis Winthorpe III
Dusty Bottoms: No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are...
Dusty Bottoms, Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: The Three Amigos!
Boy at Bus Stop: [taps a sleeping Hancock] Hancock!
[hits him to wake up]
Boy at Bus Stop: Hancock!
Hancock: What, boy?
Boy at Bus Stop: [points to TV screens] Bad guys.
Hancock: What, you want a cookie? Get the hell out my face.
Boy at Bus Stop: Jackass.
Boy at Bus Stop: You heard me.
Four minutes, forty-eight seconds. We're all dead. Burned to a crisp.Chas
I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca.Evan
Amber: Was I the only one listening? I thought it reeked.
Cher: No, I believe that's your designer imposter perfume.
Nacho: Don't you want a little taste of the glory? See what it tastes like?
Tom: You told me that it was gonna be two years. It's sort of like when you're on a treadmill, and you tell yourself "I want to run five miles today" and now, it's forever miles...
Violet: When was the last time you were on a treadmill? Sorry...
Harry Dunne: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12 o'clock.
Lloyd Christmas: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?
Josh: Look, I'm just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?
Cher: Some people are not lucky enough to be as naturally adorable as you are.
Josh: Stop it, you're making me blush.
I don't wanna die like Hendrix man!Jeff Portnoy
The name's so sexy you gotta say it twice.Moto Moto