Popular Comedy Quotes
Delia: Open this door you dead people or we'll bust it down and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourselves with!
Lydia: They didn't commit suicide!
Barbara: I don't get it, I mean where all the other dead people in the world?
Adam: Maybe this is heaven.
Barbara: In heaven there wouldn't be dust everywhere.
Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?
Adam: [Trying too hard to be scary] WEEEE'RE GHOOOOOOOOOOSTS!
Preacher: Do you take this woman do be your wedded wife?
Beetlejuice: [Runs off to the side mumbling to himself] Oh man, I don't know, it's kind of a big decision isn't it... I always said if I ever did it, I was gonna do it once and that was it...
Beetlejuice: [Runs back to the altar and stands next to Lydia] Yeah, yeah, sure, right.
Adam: We're not completely helpless, Barbara. I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation: ghosts.
I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you!Juno
I'm the ghost with the most, babe.Beetlejuice
Ah, ah, ah! Nobody says the "B" word!Beetlejuice
Hey, these aren't my rules! Come to think of it, I don't have any rules!Beetlejuice
I don't see anything about heaven or hell. This book reads like stereo instructions.Adam
I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I will take you with me!Delia
And look at that kitchen. You're finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.Charles