Popular Comedy Quotes
Marge Simpson: Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob, and apologize for what you did.
Homer Simpson: I would, but I'm afraid if I open the door, they'll take all of you!
Carl: No we won't. We just want Homer!
Homer Simpson: Well, maybe not you, but they'll kill Grandpa!
Grampa: I'm part of the mob!
Shut up, you bastard... who is fat...Austin
Nigel Powers: [rubs throat] Ow...
Austin Powers: What's wrong with your neck?
Nigel Powers: I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours.
Austin Powers: I thank you!
You tell him that you loved African Child.Sergio Roma
Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of Wednesday... It is Monday right?Earl Bassett
I won't tell you how often, but when Big colors he rarely stays in the lines.Carrie Bradshaw
I think I just came... didn't you feel it?Mike Damone
I call that my kung pow chicken.Roy
Ribbed for her pleasure. Ewww.Garth Algar
J.D.: Is your life perfect?
Veronica Sawyer: I'm on my way to a party at Remington University... No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends.
J.D.: I... I don't really like your friends either.
Veronica Sawyer: Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.
J.D.: Maybe it's time to take a vacation.
You have spilled my macchiato.Jean Girard
Jay: Hey, wait a second! Aren't you the guy who fucked the pie!
Jason Biggs: You see! It's never "Hey! You're that guy from Loser" or "Hey you rocked in Boys and Girls." No, it always comes back to that fucking pie! I'm HAUNTED by it!
James Van Der Beek: You put your dick in a pie!