Popular Comedy Quotes
Ezal: Smoke, buy me a 40oz for my birthday.
Smokey: Today your birthday?
Ezal: What's today?
Craig Jones: Mom, loan me 200 dollars.
Mrs. Jones: Craig, I wouldn't feel comfortable lending you money without a job.
Craig Jones: If I had a job, I wouldn't need to borrow any money.
Mrs. Jones: Exactly.
Pastor Clever: [at Smokey] Excuse me brother, what we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call the sin of sin sins.
Smokey: Well round here, between Normandie and Western, we call this here a little twenty twen twen...
Craig Jones: Right...
Pastor Clever: Give me a little for my cataracts.
Smokey: You didn't put in on this man.
I love the way this country smells. I'll never forget it. It's kind of spicy.Peter
Jack: Wouldn't it be great if we heard a train go by in the distance?
Francis: It'd probably be annoying.
Brendan: Why are your eyes so red?
Francis: Why is your head so bald?
Uncle Albert: With great power comes... ow!
Rick Riker: Try to breathe!
Uncle Albert: I can't. You're kneeling on my crotch!
There's a tiny person on that speck that needs my help!Horton
The Mayor of Who-ville: I have 96 daughters and 1 son.
Horton: [laughing] Whoa! Busy guy.
Horton: I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.
Morton: [sighs] An elephant's faithful one hundred percent.
Horton: That's my code, my motto.
In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies.Katie
Morton: Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!
Horton: Vlad? Vlad, Vlad... I know two Vlads. There's the bad Vlad... And then there's bunny Vlad, the one that makes cookies!
Morton: ...Yeah, Horton, she's sending you a bunny with cookies. I think it's safe to say it's the bad Vlad.
Horton: Yeah, good call.