God put our mouths on our head for a reason. No!

Darald

Peter Bretter: Maybe this is a sign from God that I should forget her.
Darald: Maybe this is a sign that you should be WITH her. I love her show. When they mix the sexuality and the violence, I like it.

Kumar Patel: In eight hours we are going to be in Amersterdam.
Harold Lee: This is amazing.
Kumar Patel: I know dude, it's going to be exactly like Eurotrip except its not going to suck.

l assume you're watching these because you're curious about sex... you know. Or filmmaking.

Helen

I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!

Julie

We'll throw away the TV. We'll perform Shakespeare in front of him.

Gil

Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.

Gil

Karen: He likes to butt things... with his head.
Nathan: How proud you must be.

Karen: Do you really have to go?
Gil: My whole life is "have to."

Julie: He said that he loved me.
Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.

[on parenting] It's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It goes on forever and it's just as frightening.

Frank

Keep Patty away from Larry - suck the intelligence right out of her.

Gil

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