Popular Comedy Quotes
Erica, you are a woman to love.Harry
Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can't control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man's job!
President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn't provoked them, we wouldn't BE in this mess!
Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!
You are in desperate need of Chanel.Nigel
Too bad Hallmark doesn't make a "Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony" card.Peter La Fleur
Rosemary Cross: Is this fake blood?
Max Fischer: Yes, it is.
Marlin: Now it's my turn. I'm thinking of something dark and mysterious. It's a fish we don't know. If we ask it directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones.
Dory: What is it with men and asking for directions?
Marlin: I don't want to play the gender card right now. You want to play a card, let's play the "let's not die" card.
[JB see's his father in the "faces" of the Gig-simulator's crowd] You're nothing but a mistake. I should have worn a condom.Jack's Father
Tallahassee: We got taken hostages by a twelve-year-old?
Columbus: Well, girls mature way faster than boys.
Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You're a virgin that can't drive!Tai
Summer Hathaway: Groupie?
Dewey Finn: What's the matter?
Summer Hathaway: You want me to be a groupie?
Dewey Finn: Well... a groupie's an important job.
Summer Hathaway: I researched groupies on the Internet.They're sluts!They sleep with the band!
Dewey Finn: No, that's not true. They're like cheerleaders.
Amanda Becket: [to Preston] You know what? Why don't you go off and get yourself a goddamn life, asshole?
Due by the Keg: [to Preston] Thanks, man. That's the funniest thing I've seen all night.
Are you kidding me? Look at all this crap! There's like a million wires in here. I'm more like a three wire guyMacGruber