Popular Comedy Quotes
Steve Stifler: Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?
Heather: Well, uh, I was asking Chris to the prom. So do you wanna go?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah, that would be great.
Steve Stifler: Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Stifler, fuck! I mean, why do you gotta be so insensitive all the time?
Steve Stifler: What? Whatever.
Come on! I get better runs in my shorts!Patches O'Houlihan
Frank: It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside.
Damn! We're in a tight spot!Ulysses Everett McGill
Benjamin: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes. Ahm, no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office - that's what I did - and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his big fat head and I said "Listen, man. I'm not going to jail for *you* or for anybody."
Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Uh, is that what this is a picture of?
Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
The Dude: Oh yeah?
Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
The Dude: Johnson?
Rayna Boyanov: Fuck! People are trying to kill me and all that's left of my security guard is you two, and you look like someone's demented aunts on vacation! You!
Rayna Boyanov: Don't you have someone in your team other than this asthmatic Big Bird?
Crush: Dude? Dude? Focus dude... Dude?
Marlin: [wakes up]
Crush: Oh, he lives. Hey, dude!
Marlin: Oh... What happened?
Crush: Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like "whoa." And we were like "whoa" ... and you were like "whoa...â€
Marlin: What are you talking about?
MILF Guy #2: Dude that chick's a MILF!
MILF Guy #1: What the hell is that?
MILF Guy #2: M-I-L-F... Mom I'd Like to Fuck!
MILF Guy #1: Yeah, dude! Yeah!
ELE! Everybody love everybody!Jackie Moon
Even before I met you I had an instinct about you. Once I saw you were a woman with profound static cling I wanted to be that force around you.Johnny
Find me that piece of paper I had in my hand yesterday morning.Miranda Priestly