Popular Comedy Quotes
You're not ashamed of me. You're really ashamed of yourself. Tell Lulu, easy on the chronic.Korean Mother
It’s that clown that’s been datin’ my sister, little man smurf.James
Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?Lt. Frank Drebin
President George Bush: Frank, please consider filling a post I'm creating. It may mean long hours and dangerous nights, surrounded by some of the scummiest elements in our society.
Lt. Frank Drebin: You want me to be in your cabinet?
Earl Bassett: Y'know, that's a good way to break an axle.
Valentine McKee: Could you shut up?
Earl Bassett: Hey, I don't need to spend the night out here!
Valentine McKee: [pause] Crybaby.
Rob: Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
Mike: What do you want? You're tall.
Charlie: Hey Bart, is it me or is the world rising?
Bart: I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it.
Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...Principal
In 11 days I'm as good as skewered! Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield?Kenny
Champ Kind: I believe in two things: Chicken, and that the census is a way for the UN to make your children gay.
Stu Price: Why don't we remember a god damn thing from last night?
Phil Wenneck: Obviously because we had a great fucking tim
Dan Burns: [after the family sees him kissing Marie] You guys broke up, right?
Mitch Burns: Two hours ago!