Julius Benedict: My name is Julius and I am your twin brother.
Vincent Benedict: Oh, obviously! The moment I sat down I thought I was looking into a mirror.

This place is awesome, now I can finally get hepatitis.


Rosemary Cross: Is this fake blood?
Max Fischer: Yes, it is.

Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.

Ah, there you are Pooter. Still alive I see.

Mrs Jennings

Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can't control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man's job!
President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn't provoked them, we wouldn't BE in this mess!
Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!

Lee: Stop, I'm sick of your bullshit.
James Carter: And I'm sick of you! I'm not the one running up in Karaoke bars full of gangsters. And I'm not the one running up in massage parlors looking for crime lords.

You wanna bring a priest to your first good date in two years? What kind of strategy is that?

Father Brian Finn

You are in desperate need of Chanel.


Too bad Hallmark doesn't make a "Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony" card.

Peter La Fleur

Marlin: Now it's my turn. I'm thinking of something dark and mysterious. It's a fish we don't know. If we ask it directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones.
Dory: What is it with men and asking for directions?
Marlin: I don't want to play the gender card right now. You want to play a card, let's play the "let's not die" card.

Vicki Vallencourt: Well, Bobby Boucher, welcome to manhood. I'll make sure to welcome you properly later.
Bobby Boucher: Once again, I'm not quite sure what that means.

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