Popular Comedy Quotes
There's no such thing as nothing.Bernard Jaffe
I thought we were a platonic trio, not some sick sex dance! This is bullshit!Tommy Corn
Mr. Hooten: What happened to the cat, Albert?
Albert Markovski: How'd you know about my cat?
Mr. Hooten: The cat was killed by curiosity.
Albert Markovski: Oh, right, that cat.
How come we only ask ourselves the really big questions when something bad happens?Tommy Corn
When you get the blanket thing you can relax because everything you could ever want or be you already have and are.Bernard Jaffe
The universe is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere.Bernard Jaffe
Albert Markovski: That's bullshit because he doesn't care about things like this, where's the African guy, bring me the African guy, where's the African guy?
Brad Stand: Dude, what're you talking about?
Albert Markovski: Why does he get to write poetry? There's no Gazelles in North America Brad, just so you know, and the building squashing nature is my imagery, not yours, you don't write poetry
Dawn Campbell: Brad, do you love me?
Brad Stand: I think so.
Dawn Campbell: With the bonnet?
Brad Stand: Ehhh...
Vivian Jaffe: You live all the time with things you can't see. You can't see electricity, can you? You can't see radio waves, but you accept them.
Bernard Jaffe: Trust.
Albert Markovski: Fuck trust!
Bernard Jaffe: You better stay away from Caterine, Albert, 'cause she's gonna lead you down the path of darkness.
Vivian Jaffe: She was our prize graduate student until she went astray.
Albert Markovski: No, I think that I am going to stay with her, and the cracks and the pain and the nothingness, because THAT's more real to me, THAT's what I feel.
Tommy Corn: Word.
Bernard Jaffe: Okay, we're not sweatin' it.
Vivian Jaffe: No, we're gonna work with Brad.
Bernard Jaffe: It'll all come back to you and interconnection.
Albert Markovski: Brad? Are you kidding me? I'm gonna work on that prick and it's all gonna come to pain and no connection!
Bernard Jaffe: No.
Tommy Corn: It's on.
There is no remainder in the mathematics of infinity.Bernard Jaffe
Albert Markovski: That fire was a bitch-ass thing to do!
Caterine Vauban: No, it liberated you from Brad.
Albert Markovski: Or maybe, it bonded me even closer with him.
But there's no way I could stop it's use in my lifetime is there? I mean, Jimmy Carter would have an electric car by now. I could have a Cadillac Escalade and it could be electric. I wouldn't have to ride my bicycle.Tommy Corn