...and very important, DO NOT do your homework without wearing headphones. Repeat...


Who needs him? I've got a vibrator!


Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.


We must be... must be a misunderstanding. I was sent down here for the big case. For the kidnapping. The little girl?


You bet your size 6 ass!


Nina: We have to make him quit. If we get naked pictures of him and pictures of farm animals, I could photoshop them.
Maria Kelly: That's an excellent idea!

Sew, very old one! Sew like the wind!

Ned Nederlander

Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody, for Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?

Sidney Deane

Rabbit: See, a lot of drug dealers use stickers to mark their products. Like a brand name.
Farva: See? Where'd you learn that, Cheech? Drug school?
Captain O'Hagan: Shut up, Farva.
[to Rabbit]
Captain O'Hagan: Did that bag you pulled off these college kids have that sticker?
Rabbit: Uummm... [looks at a bag he hid in his pocket] I don't believe it did.

Elliot: Lesson number 1: The big rocks are called mountains and the little rocks are their babies.

We got the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did we go right?

Max Bialystock

That's not Yankee dancing - that's Devil Rays dancin'!


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