I've got a way with young people. They trust me.


Evan: Fogell, I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops.
Fogell: Because I fuckin' rule?

Rosenberg: I think Kumar's a "faygele".
Goldstein: Oh, they're totally gay for each other.
Rosenberg: Hey, you wanna suck on this?
Goldstein: Uh-huh. Mmm.

Andrew Largeman: We're not playing Spin the Bottle; how old are we? More importantly, how old are they?
Jesse: Oh, they're all legal. I think...

Richard Hayden: All right, now it's sale time, so remember, we don't take no.....
Tommy: No shit from anyone!
Richard Hayden: No.
Tommy: Um, we don't take no prisoners.
Richard Hayden: We don't take no for answer.
Tommy: Oh yeah... We don't take no for an answer! We don't take no for an answer...

Sherman Schrader: It was your idea to put "acceptance is just one click away"
Bartleby Gaines: Yeah put it as "one click away" but you don't make it clickable!

Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.


Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.

Austin Powers

I want to jump in front of every cab I see, because maybe then I'll stop thinking about her.


Gertie: I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not Mommy!
Ollie: I hate you right back you little shit! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!

I know you're partial to convenience stores, but dammit, H.I., the sun don't rise and set on the corner grocery.


Todd Cleary: We had a moment at the dinner table didn't we?
Jeremy Grey: No! No! We did not have a moment at the dinner table, Todd!

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