Popular Comedy Quotes
Ron Burgundy: [riding unicorns through cartoon Pleasure Town] Look, the most glorious rainbow ever.
Veronica Corningstone: Oh. Do me on it.
Derek: So what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We can hug?
Derek: Yeah you'd like that ya faggot!.... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.
Sometimes when you snort coke, your heart stops and starts up again. Read a book!Mr. Chow
This'll be fun. We'll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles.Donkey
Norbit: Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...
Rasputia: Say Tuesday again, you ain't gonna live to see Wednesday.
"When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language."Alan
Harry: Where's the booze?
Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
Harry: Oh, no, no.
Lloyd: Come on, Harry.
Harry: It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey.
Harry: He's dead.
Lloyd: Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
Harry: His head fell off.
Lloyd: His head fell off?
Harry: Yeah. He was pretty old.
Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector: Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector.
Nicholas Angel: Well however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account. And that's what the team are gonna make of this.
[gets up and opens the door, where the team standing below a sign reading 'Good Luck Nicholas']
[on the phone] Yeah, you gave me the wrong suitcase. Uh-huh. Yes, it's a black Samsonite. Uh-huh. Ok, well don't you think that the Samsonite people, in some crazy scheme in order to make a profit, MADE MORE THAN ONE BLACK SUITCASE?Greg Focker
Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries.Dark Helmet
Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!
You know my girlfriend is dead. She fell off a cliff and died on impact.Happy Gilmore