Checkers - shut up. Or I'll feed you to the Chinese.

Dick

I've got a way with young people. They trust me.

Dick

Every lie is another brick in the pathway to hell.

Mrs. Spinnler

We have a very important school report on turquoise jewelry due in two days, and we can't find any books on it, and the President's having us followed. It's too much pressure.

Arlene Lorenzo

Arlene Lorenzo: How dare those people treat us like we're stupid teenage girls.
Betsy Jobs: We are stupid teenage girls.
Arlene Lorenzo: No. We're human beings, and we're American citizens. And four score and seven years ago our forefathers... did something.

[shouting] You can't let dick control your life.

Betsy Jobs

It's called incest Arlene, and it's against the law

Betsy Jobs

It's alright, gentlemen. I'm familiar with these two young ladies. Well, not "familiar", familiar, obviously.

Henry Kissinger

I'll take responsibility here. I'll be the only person in this administration who's willing to take responsibility for anything.

Henry Kissinger

I love Dick!

Arlene Lorenzo

Dick frightens me!

Arlene Lorenzo

Grandma Gallagher: Mary Katherine, what are you doing?
Mary Katherine Gallagher: I'm using my telekineses to kill the girl who poured pig's blood on me at the prom.

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