Popular Comedy Quotes
Anthony: Maybe we should've robbed your house. You ever think of that?
Dignan: You know there's nothing to steal from my mom and Craig!
They'll never catch me... because I'm fucking innocent.Dignan
Bob: Wha - why is there tape on your nose?
Okay. There, you see the star is me, right there, and I'll be in there. The X is Anthony. Bob, you're the zero out here in the car.Dignan
Kumar: Man, I blew it. I blew it, man.
Anthony: Kumar, what were you doing in the freezer?
Kumar: I don't know, man, I lose my touch, man.
Dignan: Did you ever have a touch to lose, man?
We'll get him. We'll get him. Man, dont worry about that, we'll get him. And when we do, we'll blow up his car, do something. I can guarantee you that. What makes me furious is thinking about the look on Bob's fat face, thinking he pulled one over on us. I tell you another thing. If our paths cross again, you're gonna see a side of Dignan that you havent seen before. A sick, sadistic side, cause I'm furious at Bob.Dignan
Anthony: So, did you enjoy your first visit to the nut house?
Dignan: Hey, hey, shh, shh, shh. Come on. Be sensitive to the fact that other people are not comfortable talking about emotional disturbances. Um, you know, I am, I'm fine with that, but... other people.
Anthony, I need to talk to you, man... Anthony, I have got to talk to you! Look, I am sorry about this, this seems like a nice soiree, but I have got a family situation. I don't care what you think. I dont care! Tengo una situación con mi familia! Dignan does not want to deal with it, could you please come outside for a minute?Bob
Pointless act! You don't give a 500 dollar tip to the housekeeper! That's inappropriate! That's inexcusable! That, I don't forgive! What were you thinking? What were you thinking?Dignan
Guy in bathroom: Hey, you're in the Army, yes?
Dignan: No, I just have short hair.
One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.Anthony
Anthony: Fact: Dignan, the picture's not doing it for me right now.
Dignan: Well does the fact that I'm trying to do it do it for you?