Popular Comedy Quotes
Lou Harris: You wanna piss with me?
Jack Ryan: I don't even understand what you're saying. Do I wanna piss with you?
Nancy Hayes: Jack, what do you think will happen if that money reaches those thugs.
Jack Ryan: I don't know. They'll probably have a hell of a luau.
Nancy Hayes: I mean to Walter!
Jack Ryan: We'll probably get invited.
Nancy Hayes: I know it wasn't just about me. Was it?
Jack Ryan: No. Come on. Those paintings on the wall could fetch a pretty penny in the right circles.
Nancy Hayes: Jack, we don't know anybody in the right circles!
Jack Ryan: I know plenty of people in plenty of circles.
If that girl's not careful, she's gonna wind up on the business end of my dick.Jack Ryan
Frank Pizzarro: Harris says I know where you're hiding.
Jack Ryan: First of all, I'm not really hiding. Second of all, you would never tell him where I was hiding because you're my friend, right?
Toshi: But, Mr. Dupree, I don't play baseball. I'm in the orchestra.
Dupree: First, call me Dupree. Second, so what if you're in the orchestra? So was Catfish Hunter.
Carl Peterson: What's with this 'Roman Holiday' obssesion? Your favorite movie is 'Fletch'.
Dupree: It's in my top five, but it's not my favorite.
Molly Peterson: I don't know, I have a hard time imagining Audrey Hepburn getting buttered up to "Funky Cold Medina."
Dupree: Really? I don't.
Carl Peterson: And this whole Lance Armstrong thing...
Dupree: You leave Lance out of this! He's doing more with one testicle than you and I could do with three!
Neil: How the hell did Dupree wind up on the worng island?
Carl Peterson: Dupree was born on the wrong island.
Carl Peterson: The insurance adjuster recommended that we sue Dupree.
Molly Peterson: For a mooosehead?
I got news for you, Dupree. You're not that loveable.Carl Peterson