Popular Comedy Quotes
[swings from a rope and drops into the water]
Lee Carter: Yeah! Keep swimming to the other side!
Will: [floundering in the water] I can't swim.
Lee Carter: ...What d'you mean you can't swim?
Lee Carter: [watches Will sink beneath the water] ... Oh shit!
Rob: Do you want to come back to my...
Kate Holbrook: Yes. Absolutely!
Rob: Wow. Okay! Just to be clear, I was going to say my place...
Kate Holbrook: Uh-huh. I'm 37. I know how this works.
Bitch, I don't know your life!Angie Ostrowiski
Congratulations, Kate. I want to reward you with five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact.Barry
[as she enters the hospital, about to go into labor] It feels like I'm shitting a knife!Angie Ostrowiski
Kate Holbrook: I overreacted earlier. I'm sorry...
Angie Ostrowiski: I'm sorry I farted into your purse...
[giggling] My avitar's dressed like a hooker!Kate Holbrook
Carl: My first thought about Angie carrying someone else's baby? I thought...My wife is gonna have sex with somebody else's husband to do this? --
Angie Ostrowiski: -- Out of the question --
Carl: -- that's gonna cost extr -- out of the question, right. Out of the question.
Well you sure are getting an early jump on your baby proofing! Don't worry about a thing, it shouldn't be a problem for anyone over 7.Boo-Boo Buster
Durell: Promise me somethin. Promise me you'll be better than me.
Durell Jr.: OK. You promise me somethin. Promise me you won't let mom take me to Atlanta.
I'm not infectin the community. I got papers to prove Im not infected...Rickey
The white Jesus keeps starin at me!LeeJohn