Popular Comedy Quotes
That is a sucker punch to the gonads.
Maxwell Smart
Larabee: I'll do it sir, I have no problem exposing myself.
Agent 99: Do you ever think before you open your mouth?
Larabee: No, I tend to just whip it out there.
Maxwell Smart: There are 150 special forces snipers surrounding this building.
Siegfried: No there's not.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 2 dozen Delta Force commandoes?
Siegfried: No.
Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun.
Well, you've done your job, so I don't suppose I can kill your wife Zenat. Although frankly I'd be doing the sighted world a favor.
Siegfried
Shtarker: Too bad about all the dead movie stars.
Siegfried: Yes. What will we do without their razor-sharp political advice.
Agent 99: I used to look like my mom.
Maxwell Smart: I used to look like two of my moms put together.
Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a sword fish almost went through my head"? If so, the
[to Agent 99] Is that your default setting or something? Oh, today's Tuesday, I'll punch Max. Oh look, a box of kittens, I think I'll punch Max. I have this piece of bread so now I'm going to punch Max.
Maxwell Smart
Stephanie: You're a virgin?
Luke Shapiro: No. Naw. I just haven't officially had sex yet.
Call me an asshole one more time.
Hancock
Pissed Off Fat Guy: You know? Somebody should sue you!
Hancock: You know what? You should sue McDonalds, cuz they fucked you up!
Uncle Albert: With great power comes... ow!
Rick Riker: Great responsibility? Try to breathe!
Uncle Albert: I can't. You're kneeling on my balls!
