[offering a cigar]
Vincent Ludwig: Cuban?
Frank: No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales.

So here’s to the groom, who got Carried away.

Samantha Jones

SaulSilver: You still got that bong I got you when I was in Tel Aviv?
Red: Hell yeah, Bong Mitzvah! Hit it up, dude!

Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.


[to the dead Graboid, which he shot several thousand times] Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya!

Burt Gummer

[narrating] Baseball may be a religion full of magic, cosmic truth, and the fundamental ontological riddles of our time, but it's also a job.

Annie Savoy

Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.


You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music.

Chip Douglas

Ben: You know what's really great about baseball?
Lindsey Meeks: Hmm?
Ben: You can't fake it. You know, anything else in life you don't have to be great in. Business, music, art. I mean you can get lucky.
Lindsey Meeks: Really?
Ben: Yeah, you can fool everyone for awhile, you know? It's like... not... not baseball. You either hit a curveball or you can't. That's the way it works.

This is all going to end badly.

Banky Edwards

How do you like my English accent? I learned it from the Downton Abbey!


You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!


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