Popular Comedy Quotes
Nicholas Angel: I didn't mean to upset the apple cart.
DS Andy Cartwright: Oh yeah, cause we all sell apples around here, don't we?
Sergeant Turner: You do sell apples don't you?
DS Andy Cartwright: Yeah, and raspberries.
Anita Miller: All the kids make fun of him. They call him the Narc behind his back.
Elaine Miller: What's a narc?
Anita Miller: It's a narcotics officer.
Elaine Miller: Well, what's wrong with THAT?
This is the stupidest group of people I've ever worked with who are not legally retarded.Lieutenant Jim Dangle
This weed was the shiz-nittlebam snip-snap-sack.Thurgood Jenkins
Harold: Officer, I'm glad you're here. You ever heard of that show, Doogie Houser, MD?
Officer Palumbo: Yeah, what great show. Doogie.
Harold: Neil Patrick Harris just stole my car.
Officer Palumbo: Hey! NPH wouldn't do that, 'ight!
Mr. Hall: So does anyone have any final thoughts on Cher's oration? Elton?
Elton: Yeah. I can't find my Cranberries CD. I gotta go to the quad before anyone snags it.
Then let's head on down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch.Ash
I better double bag it. I don't know where that girl been.Kenny Fisher
Ferris Bueller: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.
Cameron: We're pinched, for sure.
Ferris Bueller: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
Jimmy: I see you got fat!
Chazz: I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.
I'm OK... but I can't say the same for these white devils.Thorny
Mike Damone: Look at you: member of the honor roll, assistant to the assistant manager of the movie theater. I'm tellin' ya, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her, right?