Miranda Hobbes: The only two choices for women; witch and sexy kitten.
Carrie Bradshaw: Oh you just said a mouthful there sister.

Carrie Bradshaw: Well hunny, what have you been eating?
Samantha Jones: Everything except Dante's dick.

So here’s to the groom, who got Carried away.

Samantha Jones

Carrie Bradshaw: What makes you think something bad is gonna happen?
Charlotte York: Because! Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You're good people and you two both got shafted. I'm so happy and... something bad is going to happen.
Carrie Bradshaw: Charlotte... you pooped in your pants in Mexico.

Don't blame marriage. She's married and she's not growing a national forest.

Samantha Jones

This is my third marriage. How do you think that makes me look?

Mr. Big

I'm a big pile of love today.

Harry Goldenblatt

Carrie Bradshaw: Lets go down to the hotel for dinner tonight, I need to get myself out of my mexacoma.
Samantha Jones: Aww, you made a little joke. Good for you!

Nurse: Have you ever levitated a nurse before?
Uncle Hendrick: Yes, but that's a very long story.

Have you seen Elvis lately?

Jerry

I will shoot you. And I know robot karate!

Jerry

Jerry: [Alma is providing the voices for "The Lion King"] Listen to me. I need to you say the line. I need you to say "I will piss on the bones of your ancestors"...
Mike: No, no! That's not in the movie!
Jerry: [interrupts] This is the next Lion King. This is Part II.

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