Jack Fuller: [standing outside the bathroom door] Can you hurry up?
Joy McNally: [from inside the bathroom, taking her time] Almost done!
[walks into the kitchen to find Jack pissing in their sink]
Jack Fuller: Oh yeah, this is really happening. Oh, and it's your day for dishes.

Jack Fuller: How hard can it be?
Joy McNally: I know how hard it isn't.

Jack Fuller Sr.: You're like a son to me.
Jack Fuller: Dad, I am your son.

I just wanna junk-punch him in his man business.

Tipper

Joy McNally: The topping I wanted on my popcorn. I know the box said it's movie theater butter, but you guessed it. What I really want is sweaty Jack's balls flavor.
Jack Fuller: I'm just giving you what you want, baby.

Some labels are best left in the closet

Carrie Bradshaw

Miranda Hobbes: [hands Carrie her iPhone, which Carrie returns somewhat disgusted]
Carrie Bradshaw: I don't know how to work this!

Damnit, Vakidis! Learn fucking English!

Jackie Moon

Suck my cock! I'll kill your family!

Jackie Moon

ELE! Everybody love everybody!

Jackie Moon

Jackie Moon: In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.

No refunds, consider your refund escaping this death trap with your lives!

Jackie Moon

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