Popular Comedy Quotes
You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?Al Czervik
Holy shit, he fight clubbed himself! We have a fight clubber!Kurt Buckman
Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!Colonel Sandurz
Sally Albright: You know, I'm so glad I never got involved with you. I just would have ended up being some woman you had to get up out of bed and leave at 3:00 in the morning and go clean your andirons, and you don't even have a fireplace, not that I would know this.
This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.Phil
You have the whitest white-part-of-the-eyes I've ever seen. Do you floss?Topper Harley
Say, uh, Cousin Wash, I suppose it'd be the acme of foolishness to inquire if you had a hair net.Ulysses Everett McGill
Ken: Your girlfriend's very pretty.
Jimmy: She's ain't my girlfriend. She's a prostitute I just picked up.
Ken: I was not aware that there were any prostitutes in Bruges.
Jimmy: You just have to look in the right places... brothels are good.
Ken: Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.
Jimmy: Thank you.
Foster: [Drunk] Hey, so, Ursula, what's uh, what's goin' on?
Ursula: Don't use that boyfriend voice with me.
Hey Stan, you're in Ala-Fuckin-Bama. You come from New York. You killed a good old boy. There is no way this is not going to trial.Vinny Gambini
Ew. EW. EW! It's terrible and wonderful at the same time! It's freedom in a cup!Elliot
Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.Ferris Bueller