Popular Comedy Quotes
I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn't believe anything.David St. Hubbins
Harry: I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.
Erica Barry: The truth doesn't have versions, okay?
Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
Meaner dude: If I was in your shoes, I'd be...
Otter: Leaving! What a good idea.
Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny.
Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that.
Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.Frank Drebin
Dory: No. No, you can't... STOP. Please don't go away. Please? No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave... if you leave... I just, I remember things better with you. I do, look. P. Sherman, forty-two... forty-two... I remember it, I do. It's there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I... and I'm home. Please... I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget.
Marlin: I'm sorry, Dory. But I... do.
Pinchers of power! You guys! I've been saved by my Pinchers of Power!Richard 'Data' Wang
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.
Dr Ray Stantz: You never studied
So, Jake, you're out, you're free, you're rehabilitated. What's next? What's happenin'? What you gonna do? You got the money you owe us, motherfucker?Willie 'Too Big' Hall
Kat Stratford: Tell me something true.
Patrick: Something true... I hate peas.
Kat Stratford: No, something real, something no one else knows.
Patrick: Okay, you're sweet, and sexy, and completely hot for me.