Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.

Seth: Its like a three thing... its like ball, dick, ball.
Evan: It's like a division sign... I just wish you would take those off.

Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: Your's would be too... if you were a man.

I'm assuming you all have guns and crack!

Officer Michaels

I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...

Officer Slater

I am gonna give you the best blow J. With my mouth.

Becca

Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam!

Seth

Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing.

Seth

He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.

Seth

Evan: Fogell, I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops.
Fogell: Because I fuckin' rule?

Has anyone seen my bigger knife?

Ted Jones

Today's my cat's birthday.

Red

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