Popular Comedy Quotes
Edward: This is my first vagina.
Ruth: You've never seen one!
Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something.
Edward: it's uhh it's it's that, right?
Ruth: Oh yeah, it's this, its like from here to here.
Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds.
Edward: Okay, i'm gonna close the bible now.
Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!
Erica Barry: Ahh!
Harry: [Seeing Erica] Oh!! Oh.
Erica Barry: No! STOP!
Harry: OH! OOH!
Erica Barry: [hides behind door] AAHH! STOP!
Harry: [covers his eyes] Oh, I'm sorry! Oh, God... am I sorry.
Erica Barry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Harry: I'm sorry! I didn't see anything... Just your tits.
Leopard Seal: Remember dumplings, I know where you live.
RamÃ³n: That's right lardface, it's called LAND!
Nigel Boswell/Agent 006: Boswell. Nigel Boswell. 006. You know what that means?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Of course! It means you are one away from the big time.
Ray: I'm not being funny. We can't stay here.
Ken: We have to stay here until he rings.
Ray: Well what if he doesn't ring for two weeks?
Ken: Then we stay here for two weeks.
Ray: For two weeks? In fucking Bruges? In a room like this? With you? No way.
Lee: [after the first show] That was amazing, you guys changed people's lives tonight.
KG: I know, it was so awesome dude.
JB: Yeah, it was awesome, compared to bullshit!
Vincent Benedict: [impressed with Julius's fighting abilities] You could be a boxer or something. I could be your manager.
Julius Benedict: No, I could never fight for money.
Vincent Benedict: Well that's fine. You fight, I'll keep the money.
Chip Douglas: Wow, the old McNair place. Never thought they'd get the floors clean after what happened.
Steven Kovacs: Why? What happened?
Chip Douglas: They had a lot of cats.
What we're talking about is money, real money, Amigo money. No dough, no show.Lucky Day
Bobby Pellitt: You can fire Professor Xavier.
Kurt: You mean Hank.
Bobby Pellitt: Creeps me out, rolling around all day in his special little secret chair.
The new phonebook's here!Navin R. Johnson