Popular Comedy Quotes
Trent: So, what'd you think of that Dorothy girl?
Mike: The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that make me some kind of fag?
Trent: No, baby, you're money.
Danny Noonan: I can't pay you. Lou has to.
Tony D'Annunzio: Where is he?
Danny Noonan: He's out.
Tony D'Annunzio: I can see that he's out, numbnuts.
Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. Powers? I designed them myself.Dr. Evil
Hey, Rick! I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost.The Cable Guy
[after learning from an investigator that Margot had been previously married and has had affairs with both men and women] So, she smokes.Raleigh
Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.Beanie
Were these magic grits? Did you get these grits from the same guy who sold Jack his bean stalk beans?Vinny Gambini
You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him. On crack.Nick Naylor
Matt: But then Samnang won't get his money!
Kelly: It's funny, you say that like I care. I don't give a shit!
[as Daniel] My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes.Mrs. Doubtfire
Matilda: What time is it?
Derek Zoolander: Almost five.
Matilda: What? Hey, guys, that show is in three hours. Derek is dead unless we get that evidence. Do you guys...
Hansel: Whoa, whoa, easy! How 'bout a "Good afternoon, Derek and Hansel. Thanks for the freak fest last night."
[after hearing that his wife's been cheating on him] I couldn't hear you. There was a crack in the planet. WOW... that was noisy!John Clasky