Popular Comedy Quotes
Look at these. I used to dream I'd be surrounded by exotic women's underwear forever and ever. Now I know they just save their best pairs for the nights they know they're going to sleep with somebody.Rob
Rabbi Jake Schram: Oy.
Father Brian Finn: Amen to your oy.
You don't understand. I have a relationship with my phone, we have a chemistry together, I can't explain it.Anna Riley
God was showing off when he made you.Rabbi Jake Schram
May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us - may God turn their hearts. And if He cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so that we may know them by their limping.Indian Bartender
Indian Bartender: Let me guess. Your old lady got fed up because you're out here chasing the skirt so she took these little ones and left you.
Father Brian Finn: It's a little more complicated than that.
Indian Bartender: Sure it is. Everyone thinks his story is the one with a twist. Well let me tell you, I've heard just about everything there is to...
[Brian unzips his jacket, revealing his priest's collar]
Indian Bartender: Holy shit.
Father Brian Finn: Exactly.
Sometimes we don't see certain things until we're ready to see them in a certain way.Father Brian Finn
So this is a rectory. That sounds like a dirty word. Rectory!Anna Riley
[On Brian falling in love with Anna...]
Rabbi Jake Schram: I mean, she's like your sister!
Father Brian Finn: Thank you for adding new depth to my confusion.
I work harder than God. If He had hired me, He would have made the world by Thursday.Anna Riley
Rachel Rose: Oh my God! The Iraqi defense minister just committed suicide!
Rabbi Jake Schram: Ooh! Is that bad or good?
I have been a priest over 40 years, and I fell in love at least once every decade.Father Havel