Jeff Spicoli: No shirt, no shoes...
Stoner Friend: No dice! Ohhhh.
Brad Hamilton: Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Jeff Spicoli: He's the full hot orator.

Adolescence is a marketing tool.

Elaine Miller

112 pounds. Black hair. Glasses... Oval face.

Herman Blume

Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.... mmm... they're so perky, I love that.

Miracle Max

Steve: This is great I never win at checkers.
Mike: Well, it's kinda easy to win when you NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!

Randal Graves: Don't worry. His pickle was small enough to stay wedged after only four bites.
Lance Dowds: I bet you're the only guy in the world who still remembers that, Graves.
Randal Graves: Oh, I'm sure you still remember it pretty vividly, Pickle Fucker.

[to Andy] You sold your soul to the devil when you put on your first pair of Jimmy Choo's, I saw it.


Lee: Stop, I'm sick of your bullshit.
James Carter: And I'm sick of you! I'm not the one running up in Karaoke bars full of gangsters. And I'm not the one running up in massage parlors looking for crime lords.

You wanna bring a priest to your first good date in two years? What kind of strategy is that?

Father Brian Finn

John Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend. All he wanted to do was go to the movies.


Bud Brumder: What is that smell? What am I sitting in?
Cindy: Relax. It's just urine.
Bud Brumder: Oh.

Beth: That's very mature, Fenwick.
Fenwick: Fuck mature!

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