Popular Comedy Quotes
Andrew Largeman: Who are you?
Sam: I'm your new friend Sam. Tissue?
Well, it didn't look like a two-horse town, but try finding a decent hair jelly.Ulysses Everett McGill
Michael Newman: [looking in a mirror] You look a little pale there, pal. Let me fix that.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to yellow] You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to green] Grr... Don't get the Hulk angry. Raaaahrrr!
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to purple] Oh, there's Barney.
[starts to sing]
Michael Newman: I love you, you love me, the jogger has giant boobies.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Terry, when you're here, you're an ambassador for Reno.
Terry: Heavy on the assador!
These cans are defective!Navin R. Johnson
The truth is, I don't really learn that much about your faith by asking questions like that... because those aren't really questions about faith, those are questions about religion. And it's very important to understand the difference between religion and faith. Because faith is not about having the right answers. Faith is a feeling. Faith is a hunch, really. It's a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it all... connecting us all together. And that feeling, that hunch, is God. And coming here tonight, on your Sunday evening... to connect with that feeling, that is an act of faith. And so all I have to do is look around the room at this packed church... to know that we're doing pretty well as a community. Even if all of you failed my pop quiz miserably.Father Brian Finn
Chaos was what killed the dinosaurs, darlingJ.D.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Wondering how it's played?
Will Turner: I understand. It's a game of deception. But your bet includes all the dice, not just your own. What are they wagering?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Oh, the only thing we have. Years of service.
Will Turner: So any crew member can be challenged?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Aye. Anyone.
Will Turner: I challenge Davy Jones.
Inigo Montoya: [drunk] I - am - waiting - for - Vizzini...
Fezzik: You surely are a meanie.
Inigo Montoya: [smiles]
Inigo Montoya: It's you.
I'm not Baby Brent anymore. I am Chicken Brent! And I'm finally contributing to society!'Baby' Brent
I could bunk down anywhere, West wing, master suite, I'm not picky.E.B.
Ned Freedman: You look like a douche.
Mike O'Donnell: I do not look like a douche.