Popular Comedy Quotes
Hey, wait a minute, there's no birthday party for me here!Jeff Spicoli
Bianca: Hi Jessica, you look great. Are you doing anything different or just hanging out with skankier friends?
Jessica: You look good, too, Bianca. Are you eating less or just barfing more?
Monique: Barfing more.
Donkey: Hi, princess.
Princess Fiona: It talks.
Shrek: Yeah, but it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.
[holding gun] I feel like American movie star Dirty Harold... Go ahead, make my day, Jew...Borat
Richard Hayden: Housekeeping. You want mint for pillow?
Tommy: Please go away. let me sleep. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Richard Hayden: Housekeeping. You want me jerk you off?
Tommy: What kind of hotel is this?
Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.Peter Gibbons
Chum: Humans. Think they own everything.
Anchor: Probably American.
I am gonna give you the best blow J. With my mouth.Becca
I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck.Jay
I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty.Libby Mae Brown
I call that my kung pow chicken.Roy
Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up ON Dean Wormer.