Who is calling at this hour? It's barbaric. I was dreaming about my mother's sausages.

Father Havel

Father Brian Finn: You must think I'm such an idiot!
Anna Riley: No, Brian!
Father Brian Finn: No, no no, I think I'm an idiot!

I'm Irish! This is milk to me baby! Milk!

Father Brian Finn

I don't doubt myself because of you. I feel like the best version of myself when I'm with you, and that makes me doubt everything else.

Father Brian Finn

I feel like I'm on some bad new Aaron Spelling show - "Melrose Priest."

Father Brian Finn

Rabbi Jake Schram: You're in love with her?
Father Brian Finn: [to himself] No one seems to have picked up on this. It's very strange.

You know you better not lie in here man, this is the big room! God does not look favorably on you. He has a tendancy to throw... lightning bolts at things... At liars!

Father Brian Finn

Now take a step back...*and fuck your own face!*

Les Grossman

I don't read the script. The script reads me.

Kirk Lazarus

Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt
[pause]
Tugg Speedman: Retarded. Like, really retarded.
Kirk Lazarus: Moronical?
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: An Imbicile?
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived?
Tugg Speedman: [pause] When I was playing the character.

I am a rooster illusion.

Tugg Speedman

Cover me, Dicklips!

Kirk Lazarus

FREE Movie Newsletter