Popular Comedy Quotes
Danny Noonan: I gotta go to college.
Ty Webb: You don't have to go to college. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia.
Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a sword fish almost went through my head"? If so, then yes.
Who would've guessed that everyone in school was a professional dancer?Teen at prom
My job requires a certain... moral flexibility.Nick Naylor
Tracy Lord: Dexter, say something.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, I...
Tracy Lord: Oh, I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, now, that's not conversation.
[about calling Lana] It's what you want. It's what every white boy off the lake wants.Jackie
Julian Mercer: You really are a very sexy woman.
Erica Barry: No, really, I swear to God, I'm NOT!
The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.Macaulay Connor
Sam: He's my knight in shining armor.
Andrew Largeman: Don't talk about knights around Mark, it's a sore subject.
Mark: I'm gonna kill that motherfucker!
Andrew Largeman: Pun intended?
Tell a person that you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody is a theology scholar.Metatron
That rug really tied the room together.The Dude
Gusteau: You know what I say. Anyone can cook.
Remy: Yeah, anyone can cook. That doesn't mean anyone should.