I wish my momma bought me some bling-bling.

Venetia

You can put your weed in there.

Bongo Player

Korean Mother: Ling Ling. You forgot lunch, baby bie. Chicken back with five vegetable, bulgogi and kim chee.
Ling Ling: [embarassed] Thanks... mom.
Korean Mother: Ok. You all learn real good now!

Korean Mother: Ling-Ling, You walk right by Crazy Nail. No say hi me.
Ling Ling: Hi mom.

You know, they should come with a warning. Earrings may come with *penis!*

Jessica (in Clive's body)

Jessica (in Clive's body): [disguised as Taquito; as Carol tries to kiss him] Carol, please! This would be wrong for me in at least five different ways!
Carol Spencer: [pulling away] You mean... you like men?
Jessica (in Clive's body): Of course! What did you think?

April: Uh, Jessica has a... problem.
Ling Ling: She's only going to make us wait an hour this time.
Lulu: What about the class trip to Six Flags. She took so long in the bathroom we missed the bus.
Ling Ling: Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up.
Jessica (in Clive's body): I had my period, OK!

Teacher: Now, I'm returning your papers on the Salem Witch Trials. I'm sad to report that Eden here got the only A.
Jessica: That's not fair. She's the only one who was actually there.
Eden: [Everyone laugh as Eden chants] Hexum maleficium spiritum sanctum nostradumus!

You're the only boy who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

Jessica

Venetia: Oh no, she didn't?
Sissy: Oh yes she did!
Venetia: [commenting on Ling-Ling's hot outfit] Girlfriend's booty be all wrapped up in licious!
Sissy: All wrapped up.
Ling Ling: You're pretty dope and phat yourselves

April: Ok, let's make a list of all the people that hate Jessica.
Lulu: You know what would be a shorter list? All the people that don't hate Jessica.
Jessica: You bitch!

You're not ashamed of me. You're really ashamed of yourself. Tell Lulu, easy on the chronic.

Korean Mother

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