Popular Comedy Quotes
Ich bin Bruno!BrÃ¼no
Satin lives.James Brennan
Sell my guitars? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?Dewey Finn
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, heck, if you wanna play games here! I'm workin' with ya on this thing, but I... Okay, I'll do a damned lot count!
Marge Gunderson: Sir? Right now?
Jerry Lundegaard: Sure right now! You're darned tootin'!
Wax on, wax off.Metatron
I may not do everything great in my life, but I'm good at this. I manage to touch people's lives with what I do and I want to share this with you.Carl Casper
Charlie Jensen: Is it the frank or the beans?
Ted: Um ... I don't know ... both I guess.
Warren: [from outside] Franks and beans! Franks and beans!
Maria Portokalos: Ian, are you hungry?
Ian Miller: Uh no, I already ate.
Maria Portokalos: Okay, I make you something.
[answers phone] Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?Buddy
Charles: Let me ask you one thing. Do you think - after we've dried off, after we've spent lots more time together - you might agree NOT to marry me? And do you think not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider doing for the rest of your life?
Carrie: I do.
Brodie: The usual vault rules apply: Touch not, lest ye be touched.
T.S. Quint: You're such an anal retentive bastard.
Brodie: Hey, I tried to teach you how to handle comics in the sixth grade, but oh no. You wanted to play little league.
Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?
Hitchhiker: Hell no.
Raoul Duke: I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is very valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?
Raoul Duke: How 'bout some ether?
Raoul Duke: Never mind.