I am Iron Man.
[cow falls on him]

Iron Man

What is this enchanting place?
[gets hit by a taxi]

Giselle

[pinned beneath a meteor] Goodbye, world! Keep rocking! And don't forget to buy my two new CDs, in stores now!

Hannah Montana

Pooter, you're looking quite dapper this morning.

Shelley Darlingson

I gotta meet this freakin' bird!

Shelley

Manhole. I like that word. Manhole.

Shelley

My allergic reaction made me feel beautiful.

Shelley

I refuse to be embarrassed by a car that looks like a Trapper Keeper.

Lance

Tugg Speedman: This is insane. Are you telling me you're quitting the movie? We're supposed to be a unit!
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

That's C-4, dipshit. Put that back. I said a detonator! I need some dudes who speak American god dammit! He's making a fucking sweater here, I'm tryin' to put tiger bomb on this jungle's nuts.

Cody

Les Grossman: No, fuckhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: I wouldn't do that.
Les Grossman: I'm kidding.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Ah, there he is! funny. You're a funny guy.
Les Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.

Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.

Kirk Lazarus

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