Popular Comedy Quotes
Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?
Hitchhiker: Hell no.
Raoul Duke: I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is very valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?
Raoul Duke: How 'bout some ether?
Raoul Duke: Never mind.
So what are we gonna do? Come on, think! I'm not going to an English prison. With my feathery blond hair and Chon's athletic build, they'll try to make us the bell of the ball.Roy
I may not do everything great in my life, but I'm good at this. I manage to touch people's lives with what I do and I want to share this with you.Carl Casper
Airplane Stewardess: [lisping] Peanuts?
Ace: Yes, I have one right here. It's bulky, but I consider it carry-on.
Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump.Sidney Deane
That groupie? She was a Band-Aid! All she did was love your band. And you used her, all of you! You used her and threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys, you're always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans; she was your biggest fan, and you threw her away! And if you can't see that, that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!William Miller
Look at me! I'm a doe and I'm a buck. I'm a DUCK!Elliot
Oseary Drakoulias: By the way, who knocked up the journalist?
Steve Zissou: I'm not sure.
[Talking about after her mom's death] It was so hard. I had to take on all of her responsibilities. Cooking... cleaning... breast feeding Mitch.Janey
[about to ride cheetah] This is either a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried.Harold
Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.
There's a tiny person on that speck that needs my help!Horton