Popular Comedy Quotes
Heather McNamara: God, they're not gonna expel him. they'll just suspend him for a week or something.
Heather Chandler: He used a real gun, they should throw his ass in jail.
Veronica Sawyer: He used blanks. all he did was ruin 2 pairs of pants, maybe not even that... can you bleach out urine stains?
Horton: Sorry, this is where we get off.
[slingshots Bad Vlad off tree]
Horton: Cool line, usually I can't think of those things until later.
Bill: You have to see the Gambinis in action. I mean, these people, they love to argue. I mean, they live to argue.
Stan: My parents argue too, it doesn't make them good lawyers.
Bill: Stan, I've seen your parents argue. Trust me, they're amateurs.
Bianca: You suck!
Kat Stratford: [Mocking Bianca] You suck!
Officer: Okay, you're out. On the condition that you never enter your daughter in a beauty pageant in the state of California, ever again. Ever.
Frank: I think we can live with that.
Crash Davis: You don't want a ballplayer; you want a stable pony.
Crash Davis: Well, my triple-A contract gets bought out so I can hold some flavor-of-the-month's dick in the bus leagues, is that it? Well, fuck this fucking game!
Crash Davis: I quit, all right? I fucking quit.
[Crash exits the office and stands in the clubhouse for a minute before sticking his head back through the door]
Crash Davis: Who we play tomorrow?
Skip: Winston-Salem. Batting practice at 11:30.
Okay, it's like this. My dog ate my paper. I checked, but he didn't poop it out.Boy
Tonight's about the girls we never had a shot at. Tonight's about changing the game.Costa
Annie Savoy: Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn't listen to what a woman says when she's in the throes of passion. They say the darndest things.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Yeah, you said "Crash"!
Annie Savoy: Honey, would you rather I were making love to him using your name, or making love to you using his name?
Who is your daddy and what does he do?Detective John Kimble
FYI, I have beat wholesale ass for a whole lot less.Tallahassee
I wonder if the three of us would've been friends in real life. Not as brothers, but as people.Jack