Popular Comedy Quotes
We're close enough to the curb now. We're right on it.Nick
Um... hi. I'm Caroline. What's your name? ... You know what, that's okay. You don't have to tell me. It's been like one of those nights, you know? I was with my friend Norah, who you don't know, but you'd really like her because everybody likes Norah and she... left me tonight which is - she never does that and then I was kidnapped. And then, she... usually when I go home with her she... she makes me a turkey sandwich when I get home, but I might never get home, you know? And I'm so tired.Caroline
[to Maurice, as they are in a plane] It's more fun when you raise your arms up like this, ah ha ha ha!Julien
Julien: [King Julian has popped out from a cake] Hey, surprise, freaks! I am coming with you!
Alex: Oh ho ho, no, thank you.
Julien: Oh, *yes*, thank you. It is *my* plane!
Wheeler: [sits down] What up, Ronnie?
Ronnie: I don't wanna take my pants off!
Wheeler: [stunned] What?
Danny: Pick us up in two hours.
Ronnie: Fuck you, Miss Daisy.
Agent 99: Max has no experience, and I don't want him as my partner.
Maxwell Smart: Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads.
Maxwell Smart: Oh gee, Maxie-man, I haven't heard that one before!
Maxwell Smart: I never have heard that before, actually.
Okay, not to keep dwelling on this, but that was some kiss. How did you know that will work? Have you kissed other men who then plummented to their deaths?Maxwell Smart
Agent 23: If you don't follow the rules here then what are we?
The Chief: I'm telling you what we're not, we're not people who jam staples into other people's heads, that's CIA crap!
[given a blanket] Oh good, the itchy kind, my favorite, does this one also have small pox? And that was a human tooth...Maxwell Smart
Agent 99: Not bad for a rookie.
Maxwell Smart: Not bad for an old lady.