Agent 99: You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity
Agent 23: You conveniently killed Krstic before anyone could question him.
The Chief: And there's that little matter with you stoning my head with a fire extinguisher.
Maxwell Smart: I said I was sorry, you just didn't hear me because you were in a mini coma.

The name's so sexy you gotta say it twice.

Moto Moto

I bet if I asked him to play a game of Quidditch he'd cum himself.

Danny

Me and the judge have a special relationship... I don't wanna get too graphic but I sucked his dick for drugs.

Gayle Sweeny

I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous!

Martin Gary

Gayle Sweeny: Did Wheeler ever expose himself to you?
Ronnie: Hell, no!

Wheeler: I don't have crabs! What have you been telling these kids?
Ronnie: That you have crabs.

Stop tailgatin' me ya pasty teabag! Can I make a peepee?

Kirk Lazarus

Kirk Lazarus: [Alpa reveals he is gay] It's Hollywood, man! Everyone turns gay at some point!
Alpa Chino: I'm not gay! I love tha pussy!

Kirk Lazarus: Alpa and I are already wearin' Earth Mamma's natural night camo.
Alpa Chino: Cool it, Benson!

I'm sorry! I didn't get the memo that you were in Ala-frickin'-bama!

Tibby

Lena: How do you say "lost pants" in Greek?
Yia Yia: Greek girls do not lose their pants!

FREE Movie Newsletter