Popular Comedy Quotes
Okay, not to keep dwelling on this, but that was some kiss. How did you know that will work? Have you kissed other men who then plummented to their deaths?Maxwell Smart
Agent 23: If you don't follow the rules here then what are we?
The Chief: I'm telling you what we're not, we're not people who jam staples into other people's heads, that's CIA crap!
[given a blanket] Oh good, the itchy kind, my favorite, does this one also have small pox? And that was a human tooth...Maxwell Smart
Agent 99: Not bad for a rookie.
Maxwell Smart: Not bad for an old lady.
You know, you're the only human being I know who snores when he's awake.Siegfried
Agent 99: I think we should trust him chief.
Agent 23: Oh absolutely Chief, I'm with 99 on that one, everytime I look at Maxie's puppy eyes I'm a goner.
Agent 99: Oh my God, you've really never had anyone break up with you have you?
Agent 99: You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity
Agent 23: You conveniently killed Krstic before anyone could question him.
The Chief: And there's that little matter with you stoning my head with a fire extinguisher.
Maxwell Smart: I said I was sorry, you just didn't hear me because you were in a mini coma.
Skipper: We've lost engine one.
Private: And engine two is no longer on fire.
Kowalski: [on the microphone] This is your captain speaking. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we will be landing immediately.
Kowalski: The bad news is we're crash landing.
The name's so sexy you gotta say it twice.Moto Moto
I bet if I asked him to play a game of Quidditch he'd cum himself.Danny
Me and the judge have a special relationship... I don't wanna get too graphic but I sucked his dick for drugs.Gayle Sweeny
I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous!Martin Gary