Popular Comedy Quotes
Rob: How does he do it, you ask. How does
Rob: how does an average guy like me become the number one lover-man in his particular postal district? He's grumpy, he's broke, he hangs out with the musical moron twins...
Lucky Day: Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.
Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: Damn it!
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate...Fairy Godmother
Stake-out crook: Watching the place was my first gig.
Detective Sanchez: Oh, so does that make you union?
Chon Wang: What happened?
Roy O'Bannon: Oh nothing I just killed him, how'd you do?
[a very pregnant Juno enters the room] Hey there, big puffy version of Junebug!Mac MacGuff
I'm alive!Aaron Green
Jim that pan lid is see clear.Selena
Boon: It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party.
Katy: Honestly, Boon, you're 21 years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think I'll pass this time.
Boon: Want me to go alone?
Katy: Baby, I don't want you to go at all.
Boon: It's a fraternity party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it?
Katy: I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend.
The Dude: Also, my rug was stolen.
Cop: The rug was in the car?
The Dude: No. It was here.
Cop: [eager] Oh, separate incidents.
Maude Lebowski: [on answering machine] Jeffrey, this is Maude Lebowski. I need to see you. I'm the one who took your rug.
Cop: Well. I guess we can close the books on that one.
Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: Fuckin' A, man. I got a rash, man.
Princess Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh. It's me... in this body.
Donkey: [gasps] Oh, my God, you ate the princess!