Popular Comedy Quotes
Connor: Do you know who I am?
Connor: Google me bitch! I might be famous one day.
Dale Denton: Best Fuckin' Friends Forever, man!
When my foot was in the hole - and my groin - man, I felt like a wishbone.Saul
Dale Denton: Yeah, except if you're a dick your whole life, you're going to come back as shit. Or a slug or a fuckin' anal bead. But if you do something heroic, then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or fuckin' Jude Law. Now which would you rather be, an anal bead or a dragon?
Red: Mmm... probably the anal bead... depending on who it belongs to.
Dale Denton: It belongs to me.
There's a fly in the ointment, shits hittin' the fan, the lion will speak!Saul
Mr. Edwards: Oh, yeah, Clark's a great guy. He'll take good care of Angie.
Dale Denton: You know what, why don't you go fuck yourself, you weird little prick?
Mr. Edwards: Hey, I'm a teacher! You can't say that to me!
Dale Denton: Yeah? Well, I'm not a student here, so I can say whatever the fuck I want, you cheap little bastard!
Matheson: You know you gonna die, right?
Matheson: I'm gonna kill the fuck out of you! I hope you enjoy these last seventeen minutes of your life.
Your wedding better watch it!Liv
If I were your wedding, I'd be sleeping with one eye open...Liv
The truth will set you free but before it does; It's gonna piss you off!Professor Turner
Tank: I would kick you in the ass, but my foot might get sucked in.
Alexis: Well I would kick you in the dick, but my foot might get Herpes.
Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing. You are now up to speed.Insp. Jacques Clouseau