George Simmons: I'm surprised nothing happened with you and that girl.
Ira Wright: She told me she had a boyfriend.
George Simmons: She told me the same thing, when she was sucking my cock.

Why don't you go suck George Simmons's cock?

Leo

Dr. Lars: Now do you trust my accent?
George Simmons: Yes I do.

Daniel Day-Lewis would have torn that scene apart.

George Simmons

Don't cry, you're making a scene. Everyone will think I broke up with you.

George Simmons

Don't say chilling.

George Simmons

George Simmons: Good news, Bonita. I went to the doctor today. He said I was doing better.
Bonita: That's good, Mr. Simmons. I found the pants you were looking for. They were in the closet.

I use so much hand lotion anymore when I am masturbating that when I see people in public using lotion I'm thinking, holy shit their about to jerk off.

Ira Wright

I can't believe George Simmons is dying. I grew up on his movies.

Leo

You're not funny. You look funny, but you're not funny.

Chuck

These people are just excited about the savings.

Don Ready

Like Pearl Harbor... never again!

Don Ready

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