Popular Comedy Quotes
I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar.Jay
Ben: What’s up little man.
Basketball Kid: What’s up little man?
Ben: What you about 3’10″, 3’11″?
Basketball Kid: Yeah but you know what I’m gonna do, grow! What you gonna do, stretch?
Mike: What the hell was that?
Steve: A chunk in the road or something.
Mike: I just chunked in my pants.
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go.
Andy: [hysterically] I should've let him look at my body! Don't I have a beautiful body? Don't I have a beautiful body?
Brandon Walsh: You've got a great body.
Andy: How many more years do I have before I get all fat? Before my hair falls out? Before I look like him?
I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.Ed Rooney
Quite a large and economically diverse crowd here at the Michelob Invitational.Announcer
I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked PIRATES!Elizabeth Swann
Foxxy Cleopatra: Hey. What's kickin', Basil?
Basil Exposition: A lot is kicking, Foxxy.
Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan?Ted
Lewis: Wait, what does Cornelius look like?
Wilbur: ...Tom Selleck.
[filling out paperwork] Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!Austin Powers