Danny: No, no. It's not a cow. It's a a minotaur. It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet.
Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her.

[while urinating neon green liquid] Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss.

Danny

The name's so good you gotta say it twice.

Moto Moto

Listen Moto Moto. You better treat this lady like a queen because you my friend, you found yourself the perfect women. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect women I would give her flowers everyday and not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids, white, and breakfast in bed... six loaves of wheat toast with butter on both sides, no crust. The way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend and I'd spend everyday trying to think of how to make her laugh. She has the most, most amazing laugh. Well that's what I would do if were you.

Melman

Alex: I wanna prove to my dad that I'm a *real* lion.
Marty: As opposed to what, a *chocolate* lion?

In case of a loss of oxygen, please place your masks over your faces to hide your terrified expressions from the other passengers.

Private

Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: Oh.

Dale Doback: Why are you so sweaty?
Brennan Huff: I was watching Cops.

I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!

Brennan Huff

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

Connor: Do you know who I am?
Brad: What?
Connor: Google me bitch! I might be famous one day.

Saul: BFFF?
Dale Denton: Best Fuckin' Friends Forever, man!

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