Popular Comedy Quotes
I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.Columbus
[to Tallahasse] Are you some type of cock blocking robot developed in some secret fucking government lab?Columbus
[discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? I hate coconut! Not the flavor, but the consistency.Tallahassee
[a zombie kills an obese man] Poor fat bastard.Columbus
[a zombie is crushed by a falling piano] Poor flat bastard.Columbus
Columbus: There are no penguins in the North Pole.
Tallahassee: ...You wanna see how hard I can punch?
Pretty soon life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go empty.Tallahassee
[Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank god for rednecks!Tallahassee
[after being taken hostage by Little Rock] Don't shoot me with my own gun!Tallahassee
Okay. You're about to learn who you're gonna call... GhostbustersColumbus
[to Columbus] You're thinking about fucking Wichita. Well congratualations because for the past twenty-four hours, she's been fucking both of us.Tallahassee
He sets the standard for "Not to be fucked with."Columbus