Popular Comedy Quotes
Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.
Quentin Hapsburg: Que sera sera... You do speak French, don't you?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Unfortunately no, but I do kiss that way.
Walter Sobchak: You have got to buck up, man. You cannot drag this negative energy in to the tournament!
The Dude: Fuck the tournament... Fuck YOU, Walter!
Walter Sobchak: Fuck the tournament? All right, I can see you don't want to be cheered up here, Dude. Come on Donny, let's go get us a lane.
That's C-4, man.Cody
Jake: Maury, we need $5,000 fast.
Maury Sline: $5,000? Who do you guys think you are, The Beatles?
I missed dinner last night because I got drunk with little Irish people.Frank Falenczyk
Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out.
Bob Falfa: Hey, you know a guy around here with a piss yellow deuce coupe, supposed to be hot stuff?
Terry Fields: You mean John Milner?
[Falfa nods slowly]
Terry Fields: Hey, nobody can beat him, man. He's got the fastest...
Bob Falfa: [cutting him off] I ain't nobody, dork! Right?
Terry Fields: [intimidated] Uh... right.
Bob Falfa: Hey, you see this Milner, you tell him I'm lookin' for him, huh? Tell him I aim to blow his ass right off the road.
[possessed by Zuul] Take me now, subcreature.Dana Barrett
Lewis: Why would his motto be "Keep moving forward?"
Wilbur: It's what he does.
Lewis: What does that mean?
Wilbur: That is an excellent question.
I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas cream in his pants!Chip Douglas