Popular Comedy Quotes
I'm from Holland. Isn't that vierd?Goldmember
Trent: I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.
Mike: Yeah, well, they're all skanks.
Trent: What are talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here.
Mike: The beautiful babies don't work the midnight-to-six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift.
Trent: Look at all the beautiful honeys here.
Sergio Roma: I'm mind-fucking you right now.
Aaron Green: Well I hope you're dick has a condom on, because I have a dirty mind.
Lloyd: I'm only human, Harry! Come on! Stop being a baby. So we backtracked a tad!
Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out.
Becca: I'm so wet right now.
Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in Health Class.
I'm sweatin' like a Tijuana whore!Johnny O
I'm telling secrets to the one guy you don't tell secrets to.Russell Hammond
Dory: I'm thinking of something orange and small...
Marlin: Me again.
Dory: All right, Mr. Smarty pants...
In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.Jay
Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.Ian Faith
Cheer up, Ed. This is not goodbye. It's just I won't ever see you again.Frank Drebin
[clears throat] Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.Ron Burgundy