Popular Comedy Quotes
It was a great night, my hetero heroine.Dev
Why did G-Girl throw a shark at us?Hannah Lewis
Walter Sobchak: You have got to buck up, man. You cannot drag this negative energy in to the tournament!
The Dude: Fuck the tournament... Fuck YOU, Walter!
Walter Sobchak: Fuck the tournament? All right, I can see you don't want to be cheered up here, Dude. Come on Donny, let's go get us a lane.
Giselle: Goodness, we sure has a lot of excitement tonight. Were you scared?
Morgan Philip: A little bit, but do you think Pip will be ok?
Giselle: Oh, well, I wouldn't worry about Pip. He is very brave.
[cut to Morgan's bedroom]
Giselle: I remember this one time, when the poor wolf was being chased around by Little Red Riding Hood around his grandmother's house, and she had an axe... oh, and if Pip hadn't been walking by to help I don't know what would've happened!
Morgan Philip: I don't really remember that version.
Giselle: Well, that's because Red tells it a little differently.
Chon Wang: He took the gold.
Roy O'Bannon: Is that all you care about, the gold? Shame on you.
Fight with honor. You will win.Chon Wang
Ed McDonnough: [sobbing, taking H.I.'s mug shot again] Turn to the right.
H.I.: What's the matter, Ed?
Ed McDonnough: My "fy-ance" left me.
H.I.: [narrating] She said her fiancÃ© had run off with a student cosmetologist, who knew how to ply her feminine wiles.
H.I.: [out loud] That sumbitch. You tell him, I think he's a damn fool, Ed. You tell him I said so - H.I. McDonnough. If he wants to discuss it, he knows where to find me: in the Maricopa County Maximum Security Correctional Facility For Men State Farm, Road Number 31, Tempe, Arizona! I'LL BE WAITIN'! ... I'll be waitin'.
Kate Holbrook: I overreacted earlier. I'm sorry...
Angie Ostrowiski: I'm sorry I farted into your purse...
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm worried, Ray. All my readings point to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie.
Grandpa: [narrating] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: [narrating] "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
Westley: As you wish.
Donny: Phone's ringing, Dude.
The Dude: Thank you, Donny.
Brian's mom: Now is this the first time or the last time we do this?
Brian Johnson: Last.
Brian's mom: Good. Now use the time to your advantage.
Brian Johnson: Mom, we're not supposed to study, we just have to sit there and do nothing.
Brian's mom: Well mister, you better figure out a way to study.
Brian's sister: Yeah.