Popular Comedy Quotes
We are the Knights who say... Ni!Knight 1
Andrew: I said, leave her alone.
Bender: You gonna make me?
Bender: You and how many of your friends?
Andrew: Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal.
Peter Gibbons: So you guys are gonna fire Mike and Samir, and you're gonna give *me* more money?
Bob Porter: [nods] Uh-huh.
Peter Gibbons: Wow.
We fear change.Garth Algar
Grace: Oh, Ed. You just sounded like Dirty Harry just then.
Ed Rooney: Really? Thanks, Grace.
May I have ten thousand marbles, please?Flounder
It's all happening!Polexia Aphrodisia
The Kid: You used to be a cheerleader, didn't you?
Purlene Dupre: Yeah, in the fourth fuckin' grade.
The Kid: And your hair's not really blonde, is it?
Purlene Dupre: Yes, it is.
Floatie Dupre: No it's not, her hair's red, she's a redhead, she's got a bright red bush.
The stress is killing me.Mikey Abromowitz
Grace: It's weird. I woke up this morning and I swear my boobs felt bigger. Do they look bigger to you?
[gleefully] Rome wasn't burned in a night.Joe
Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede, one more word out of you, and I will hold you in contempt!
Fletcher: I hold *myself* in contempt! Why should you be any different?